tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82613775473008572922012-01-06T17:34:17.968-05:00Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.comBlogger1311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-83266012244071540262012-01-06T11:00:00.000-05:002012-01-06T15:55:23.029-05:00

1. Snorkeled in the Bahamas on my birthday 2. Fell in love (with Peter) 3. Lived with Nana for one month 4. Completed a 3-month Traumatic Brain Injury (#TBI) rehab program 5. Learned Anusara yoga and kenetic awareness from Ellen Saltonstall 6. Visited my brother, Joey, in Cleveland 7. Celebrated Thanksgiving with Peter’s family and my first Christmas with Peter 8. Had great sex 9.

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-69162716589005855822011-09-03T02:30:00.001-04:002012-01-06T09:40:19.356-05:00

"When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, pain itself will crack the rock and Ah! let the soul emerge." Rumi It hurts. It hurts so much. Over the past week I've undone what I've been doing for the past six months: Burying my emotions, all my frustration, ignoring the literal and figurative heart ache surrounding this the development of this heart condition, on and on. I've cut the

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-19433707193087439602011-08-27T02:33:00.001-04:002011-08-27T02:34:42.745-04:00

I stopped writing back in March, when I started having trouble with my heart. I thought I was ready to write about that whole journey and the heart condition I was eventually diagnosed with, but I am not. It was enough to look at the camera while wearing this heart monitor, then post these pictures. This is a start... I just realized something, the wall that's holding me back:(at least part of

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-70797067438911784612011-03-14T11:55:00.002-04:002011-03-15T01:49:34.611-04:00

This post was originally published maybe in June 2009. I went to edit a spelling mistake and for some reason the post saved as a new one. Oddly enough, I have had vivid dreams lately and find myself desiring a friend to sleep next to. Otherwise, I am not in the tumult that this post describes anymore. Lately I've been reluctant to fall asleep for fear of vivid dreams. Almost every night I feel

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-9328090350574275532011-03-10T15:37:00.007-05:002011-03-13T03:52:55.168-04:00

You can’t see my injury. Looking at me, even talking to me, you might argue (many people do) that I am not injured. Here’s the thing, you are right in some sense. Most of my brain was not injured when I fell off the roof of that building in Argentina. You are mistaken on the flip side of that coin though as some parts of my brain were damaged when I fell. In this post, I'll share with you some

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-55992348699306916482011-02-22T00:54:00.003-05:002012-01-06T09:39:50.945-05:00

I’ve been quiet about this injury, especially in comparison to my other injuries. You’re probably sick of reading about my arms and all their surgical woes! I know I get sick of writing about it. Talking about my brain injury makes me feel self-conscious and vulnerable in an unprecedented way. I want to get over this though, to conquer this fear. I’ve always been smart. I skipped grades in

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-27803606956999446582011-02-19T22:51:00.002-05:002011-02-22T00:59:29.349-05:00

I feel the desire to acknowledge my present position. On a mundane level, not much has changed in the past few months. I had surgery for the 8th time since I fell off the roof. Act surprised. This go-around we fixed a nerve in my left arm. I'm still living with pain on a daily basis and still my time is largely occupied with physical therapy and other fall-related rehab. On a spiritual level, a

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-71911504367928576262011-01-18T22:44:00.002-05:002011-09-12T22:03:37.748-04:00

Do I have any children? I have many children. Don’t you? All the orphans in the world are our children. What? You don’t feel the same? Are you reserving your love For the children that come from your womb? Don’t we all come from the same mother, the universal mother? I’ve never seen a drought of love. Have you? Love is infinite. Love is infinite so why not give it away? Why not

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-16854853798769196622010-12-30T22:20:00.004-05:002011-09-12T22:05:24.445-04:00

  1. Flew first class 2.        2. Snuck into a lecture by Jack Kornfield 3.        3. Survived three operations 4.        4. Had my first pedicure and manicure 5.         5. Walked everywhere instead of using public transportation for a few days 6.         6. Traveled to four new countries 7.         7. Joined #TNI on Twitter and won a prize 8.         8. Heard Mozart in Vienna, Austria

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-1212823351478200682010-10-15T13:11:00.004-04:002011-09-12T22:06:22.146-04:00

"Jackie, even with tears in your eyes you find things to laugh about." When I returned to the US after falling off a roof in Argentina, I went straight to the hospital where I found out that not only had I shattered my arm, but I had also severely fractured my face from my eye socket down to my jaw, and broken my nose. On the way home from the craniofacial surgeon's office, I got a call from my

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-28943573966314014342010-09-14T03:44:00.015-04:002011-03-13T16:03:14.572-04:00

Night Gyrations Imitations of Africa womenI anticipate the bass beatSweeping hips lowerTo catch a falling featherAnd carry it GentlyTo a higher ledge Come grasp my waistPinch my sidesWith your fingertipsHold my body Firmly against yoursUntil I relent Arching my back Against youI will protest Hold fast.Press harder.Until I relent. Dawn Standing in your faded, blue underwear, Brushing your teeth.

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-15706859380090027142010-09-04T17:18:00.000-04:002010-09-04T17:18:38.637-04:00

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-61040720794958156022010-09-02T02:11:00.005-04:002011-09-12T21:58:33.677-04:00

The worst thing about having surgery is the bad memories it creates that live on forever in my mind. I wish I didn’t remember one anesthesiologist smothering my face with an oxygen mask while another stuck my arm a second and a third time, trying to start an IV. Laying there, struggling to inhale and exhale the sweet-smelling air, I felt that the doctor was being unreasonably forceful and I

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-72518046588436103212010-08-16T01:59:00.005-04:002011-03-10T17:32:39.591-05:00

On Friday at 10am I had an EMG. It makes me cry just to recall the memory of that morning. I went into the hospital, filled out some paperwork, then was lead into a small, windowless room where I was introduced to three residents. Moments later the doctor arrived and asked me to lay down. He proceeded to shock my arm more times than I could count. Every time he moved the probe, the shocks would

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-4160108911526463112010-08-10T16:52:00.003-04:002011-09-12T22:10:36.304-04:00

I went to Colorado this past weekend. I left on Thursday evening after freezing in an air-conditioned hospital all afternoon, and returned on Tuesday morning just in time to spend four hours at two doctor’s appointments. It was stressful, to squeeze a trip between appointments, but I look back and my mind settles on one afternoon. On Monday, Larissa and I visited the Red Rocks Amphitheater. It

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-47127633452744857132010-06-13T20:55:00.002-04:002010-10-29T12:26:38.846-04:00

Right now I’m known as the girl who fell off a roof. I’d rather be known as the girl who went to Antarctica, Graduated from New York University And helped birth babies in Indonesia. I’d prefer be known as the girl who made you smile. The girl who sent you a postcard Or taught you how to play violin Would do just fine. It doesn’t matter that I started graduate school. It doesn’t matter that

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-14769268448966083462010-06-10T02:21:00.004-04:002010-10-29T12:27:31.046-04:00

Sounds strange, maybe even scary. It’s true though, at least the MRI said so. Here’s the story: On March 21st, 2009, while traveling in Argentina, I fell off a roof and broke my face and nose, along with my arm. Upon returning to the United States, I had a CAT scan of my brain to be sure I didn’t have any life-threatening damage, then endured four operations to fix all broken bones. I

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-2681431949017775922010-05-25T15:30:00.003-04:002010-10-29T12:29:03.483-04:00

Since I quit drinking, other than one glass of wine or beer with food, I’ve been shocked by the amount of societal pressure I’ve endured to break my almost –sobriety. We pressure each other to drink more, eat more, and lose control! Why is self destruction so fun? Or is it really the destruction of others that we find so entertaining? If I am drinking, you should be drinking too. If I am drunk

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-43035248166004877412010-05-20T02:27:00.007-04:002011-03-13T16:11:33.116-04:00

Laying on the couch. Feet occupying the arm rest. I am overwhelmed by my past. On May 21st, six years ago, I was raped. What do you do to commemorate The anniversary of something terrible? It feels silly to do anything at all because I’m just one of many women who has experienced this crime of power. Is it even appropriate to pay attention to May 21st, or would I be better off consciously

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-15998095093319926962010-05-09T00:33:00.002-04:002010-10-29T12:29:43.716-04:00

Good or evil, you always have a choice to make. Sure, your actions can be misunderstood or judged prematurely, but in general, with good intentions and consistent compassion for others, light will triumph over dark. As I type that, all I can think about are arms and resource deals done between the Chinese and the Sudanese government. Maybe I am wrong. We only have one life, why devote it to good

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-82573466099406826702010-04-29T03:21:00.003-04:002010-10-29T12:30:13.526-04:00

I feel like I've written that last post at least forty times in the past year. Honestly it perplexes me that after thirteen months and six operations, I'm still overwhelmed by the pain in my wrist and the recovery process in general. Vicodin or not, I refuse to continue posting the same negative sentiments, so here's something new: Tonight Larissa and I perused podcasts, looking for guided

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-11730207238601135022010-04-04T13:32:00.003-04:002010-10-29T12:30:52.379-04:00

The way some people’s identity is defined by their skin color or sexual orientation , I have allowed my life’s story to be composed solely of surgery and recovery. Whether it was a responsible decision or not (1), I removed myself from graduate school then childishly lamented my professors and the challenging academic environment of my program. (1) – What does it mean, to characterize a

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-30003211146377798632010-03-18T17:46:00.003-04:002010-10-29T12:31:13.604-04:00

The other day Natalie asked me, "What is the opposite of happiness?" My mind flashed - Laying alone in a hospital bed, awake but unable to speak or move until the anesthesia wears off. I hate waking up along but I have after all ten operations, and I will again after this next one. Almost universally, hospital policy states that family members and friends have to wait outside the recovery room

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-61345301171575138912010-03-10T10:26:00.002-05:002010-10-29T12:31:55.706-04:00

I gave up drinking alcohol and eating out alone for Lent. To be honest, I’m not your average Catholic. I’m not donating the money I save by drinking Coke sans Jack Daniels to anywhere other than my savings account. In addition, because my brain is occupied with thoughts of how to create dinner out of protein powder and broccoli, I spend less time pondering my faith, or praying. So what am I

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-47280344441424482102010-03-03T16:31:00.004-05:002010-10-29T12:33:07.243-04:00

I saw Dr. Raskin on Monday to talk about nerve problems I’m having in my pointer finger. After one month of babying my arm by wearing a sling and splint, icing it and refraining from activities that irritate it (PT, running, etc.), nothing has improved. Dr. Raskin thinks that when I had the first operation in Argentina, during which they inserted three pins into my wrist, one of the pins nicked

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-41253789910141956892010-02-23T21:57:00.004-05:002010-10-29T12:33:47.608-04:00

I am glad I am not a professional violinist, and I won’t be pursuing a career in travel writing. I started playing violin when I was seven years old. By the time I was twelve, I had traveled to Disney World to perform with a youth orchestra, won regional competitions and taken out an insurance policy on my violin and bow. When it came time for me to apply to college, I wanted nothing more than

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-40575253413885962312010-02-08T22:31:00.003-05:002010-10-29T12:34:26.658-04:00

I haven't been writing because I have writer's block. In addition to being mentally overwhelmed, I've not been physically able to write. On December 30th, 2009, I had a fourth operation on my wrist. The operation went well, but since then I've developed some nerve problems that are now acting as a roadblock on my way to recovery. I'm not allowed to do physical therapy for the next three weeks,

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-22306196749612529802010-01-03T23:59:00.008-05:002011-03-14T11:46:44.695-04:00

1. Spent ten days in Antarctica. 2. Survived falling off a roof. 3. Held it together through five operations, 4. A temporarily deformed eye, 5. And months of physical therapy to recover a shattered wrist (all from the fall). 6. Ran a mile race and got a PR. 7. Applied to graduate school with 3 awesome letters of recommendation. 8. Was accepted to 4 of the 5 graduate schools I applied to. 9.

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-44738962683025975692009-12-16T23:24:00.006-05:002011-03-13T16:13:24.307-04:00

I haven’t been able to write for the past month. So much has happened and I just wasn’t ready to share it anywhere except during quiet conversations in the early hours of morning. A part of my extended family is falling apart, and its breaking my heart. After almost twenty years of not speaking, in 2007 my mom rekindled a relationship with her sister, Fran. I remember the day I met Fran; I

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-86467517370393146882009-11-16T11:43:00.003-05:002011-03-13T16:17:02.245-04:00

I don’t really care that it it’s @Jack‘s birthday. That fact has no influence on my desire to donate money to @charitywater. Twitter creator Jack Dorsey’s 33rd birthday is upon us, and for his birthday, he asked his fellow Twitter users to donate enough money to the organization Charity Water that they could build three clean-water wells. First, I’m not big on birthdays, especially not for

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-24259007076329452292009-09-15T21:57:00.004-04:002011-03-14T11:48:14.070-04:00

I'm having one of those crisis of life nights. Do other people have those? I feel like I'm going through some odd form of delayed reverse culture shock. Tonight it hit me that I am living in this expensive apartment, with a huge bedroom and a fireplace. I have a good deal of money in the bank and each afternoon I study different epidemiological and biostatistical terms. I own a new, fancy cell

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-3259550956042211972009-09-11T12:16:00.003-04:002011-03-14T11:49:34.162-04:00

Maybe I will become a bio-statistician. I have enjoyed my biostatistics class thus far and am excited by the career opportunities in the field. Don't worry, I'm still fascinated by political theory and dream of becoming a wrinkled old college professor of constitutional development....But it would be fun to head up my own research team and track down associations between open sewers and malaria

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-18460725586435085022009-08-02T13:23:00.005-04:002011-03-14T11:50:18.434-04:00

7-18-09 And the journey begins. Or should I say continues? Things I have learned in life: -Don't 1/2 ass anything, especially not your education. -Always bring every camera, everywhere. -98% of the time, kindness and patience will improve your situation. -Follow through. Do what you say you are going to do, or stop making promises you can not keep. Otherwise people will not take you seriously or

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-91749031060306157182009-07-10T02:22:00.005-04:002011-03-14T11:51:29.797-04:00

Most girls buy shoes impulsively, I buy plane tickets and sessions with personal trainers. Not too long ago, I wrote about remaining in the US for a year and relaxing while I recover. Well, I couldn't sit still. One morning two weeks ago, plane tickets to Costa Rica caught my attention at $270, and by 2:00pm, I had hit "Pay Now". I had a few rather minuscule reservations about jetting off to

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-56864565948126953382009-05-22T21:15:00.004-04:002011-03-19T19:42:53.395-04:00

Today, for the first time since I fell, I thought to myself, I love my life, right now, in this moment. What made me think that today? I woke up late and enjoyed a bowl of Kashi with chocolate soy milk. Then I spent the morning sorting through things in my room, stopping frequently to reflect on memories associated with whatever I was unearthing. I paused on a pile of shoes I've collected

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-9172428542859207622009-05-12T23:16:00.007-04:002011-03-23T11:44:26.373-04:00

You can not call me Jack anymore. You can not call me at 11pm And say Hey Jackie Baby! And talk to me about passion or religion. You can not invite me over And make my favorite meal Then roll your eyes, As if you don’t care When I say I love it. You can not open the door for me Smile at me with your head tilted to the right Or rest your hand on my hip. You can not sleep next to me And

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-14430946918886667182009-05-11T00:17:00.007-04:002011-03-19T19:48:39.236-04:00

Every day, by about four in the afternoon, I fall apart. By four in the afternoon I have probably spent a few hours hugging my mom while she cries over her dying mother, or encouraging her to be strong in the face of her siblings who haven't bothered to contact her in the last twenty years. Things have usually wound down at my grandmother's hospice and I find myself sitting alone, worrying

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-87799548754650493282009-04-18T16:50:00.006-04:002011-09-12T21:52:49.054-04:00

That is why people are so fascinated by her. She is older than my mom and has at least two chins, awkward giggles, and even more awkward hip gyrations. How dare she dream of commanding an audience’s attention? When she walks on stage, let’s just laugh and hope she leaves. Wait! Don’t tell me that beautiful voice is coming from her chubby face! How does she do it? Susan Boyle, the virgin for

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-47369375259752049822009-04-07T14:44:00.001-04:002010-07-25T16:34:42.175-04:00

It was hot last night. So hot that at 4:00am, I used my left elbow to support myself as I rolled out of bed. Once standing, I slipped my left hand inside the elastic waistband of my pajama pants, then shimmied left and right, until they collapsed in a heap on my floor. In the dark, their baby-blue color created a patch of light on the deep green carpet. My untanned legs, as well as my white and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-56584044043068026782009-04-04T03:21:00.003-04:002009-04-04T05:06:20.079-04:00

A number of people have commented, both after talking to me or reading my blog, that I have kept very upbeat with all that has happened. Let me explain. In some moments I feel so lucky that not only did I have the means to fly to the United States for treatment, but I happened to know one of the best wrist surgeons in the country, and he happened to be friends with a top facial surgeon. I have

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-7346212496173654442009-04-03T12:41:00.004-04:002009-04-03T17:27:26.565-04:00

So the operations went well, yay!I was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday afternoon at about 2:00pm, and was happy to be close to my doctors as I had been very sick for the previous 24 hours with nausea from my head injuries and nerves about the surgeries.The wrist surgery was first and lasted a total of four hours. Dr. Raskin (the surgeon) visited me after everything to explain to my family

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-29884573058338496362009-03-30T23:50:00.004-04:002009-09-14T23:25:32.503-04:00

I woke abruptly from a dream at 5:13am with burning intentions of replying to everyone who had recently commented on my blog. By 6:20am my mother and I were en route to New York City to pick up the results of a CAT scan of my head, and bring them to a maxilla/cranial surgeon named Dr. Thorne.At 9:18am I did my best not to cry as Dr. Thorne gave me some bad news. I had broken the zygomatic and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-43446634378186008722009-03-28T21:56:00.004-04:002010-07-25T16:44:31.015-04:00

To answer all your questions! The Fall: Larissa and I were traveling north through Argentina after Antarctica, and had made our way to Mendoza. On Friday, March 20th, at 3am I fell off the roof of our hostel. I was on the roof with two other travelers, and we had relocated up there in order to play music and drums, and make less noise. I leaned against what I assumed was a sturdy wall, and fell

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-41666190872170281472009-03-18T00:07:00.002-04:002009-03-18T00:27:03.191-04:00

When I travel I miss being in love.I don´t exactly understand why but thats life, no?Due to all this missing of romance in my life, I´ve been writing poems of romantic nature. Please excuse me while I spill my soul a little!-----------------------Thats What I WantStanding in your faded, blue underwear,Brushing your teeth.No pose of strengthNo sucking of gutYou think I am asleepBut I see youIn

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-36850242053524304172009-03-06T10:06:00.002-05:002009-03-06T11:12:40.031-05:00

I can´t disappear.South America, so far, is like Europe´s son, or a place where everyone speaks one language...Unless you count the huge population of Israelis who have recently finished their mandatory service in the military and are traveling through South America for varying lengths of time. There are so many Israelis here that some of the informational signs are written in Spanish and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-75723210861137594072009-02-02T08:51:00.004-05:002009-10-02T00:40:33.377-04:00

Dear Reader,For my trip to Antarctica and South America I will be starting a new blog. The new blog will be open to everyone, including my family (parents). In light of all this, I will be locking Lets Sit Outside and keeping it as a more personal space. The new blog will serve as more of a travelogue, meant for readers of all ages, and Lets Sit Outside will continue to be exactly what it is now,

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-64445179555177498012009-01-17T21:45:00.003-05:002011-09-14T09:46:54.868-04:00

There's not enough time. I finally want to live and there’s not enough time. I found things that make me happy. I am healed and whole and alive. I finally found things that make me happy, And there’s not enough time to do it all. Everything changed in one moment But really, it was a long time coming. I was looking in the mirror, Putting paint on my face, And I realized I want a future. I want

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-78479214168027766512009-01-15T18:28:00.002-05:002011-09-14T09:45:29.525-04:00

On a dark night in Woodstock I sat naked next to you. On and on we spilled our souls about love and the lives we lead. I sat naked next to you and you denied me, And the fireflies lit my bare skin, lit the blush of my cheeks. You said no, straight into my eyes. "No way babe, I like what I got. Don't need none of your breasts for me." And to the Californian dancer, your thoughts returned. The

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-29361910607411127402009-01-11T23:48:00.003-05:002009-01-21T07:04:33.195-05:00

I don’t get excited about Obama because I don’t judge people based on their perceived potential or the promises they make, I judge them based on their actions. (Speaking of judging people, in general I don’t think it is a worthwhile way to spend energy, but when it comes to politicians and a judgment must be made regarding their policy and the like in order to make an informed decision in the

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-84155107207065470072008-12-30T01:31:00.002-05:002008-12-30T01:34:41.050-05:00

Its midnight and I am freezing, shaking and alive with cold and pain. My fingers ache with lack of circulation as I hold onto the vacuum hose. Bent over, straining to reach the far corners of my car, I shiver and clench my teeth. I am urgent and burning, heat of anger flushing my cheeks. There is no fire like heartache, but its not enough to warm my fingers or my tears as they trace down my

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-6963606228996661352008-12-24T00:09:00.000-05:002008-12-24T00:10:20.502-05:00

Its almost Christmas and as I sit here, thinking about the day, watching some sappy movie on TV, I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions.I am happy for some many things, grateful and so fulfilled by my dreams, my past and my future. But right now, in this moment, I am lonely. I am lonely in a way that aches.This year I have come to protect myself better, take care of myself and heal myself in

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-62204139458085287332008-12-11T15:00:00.013-05:002011-09-12T21:51:24.230-04:00

A while ago, my friend Noah made a post about how each person should be the coolest person they know. While I'm not entirely sure I agree with the phrasing, I do believe that we have the capacity to change and move ourselves towards our ideal self; to be more kind, more driven, more anything and everything.We each have the power to be the coolest person we know. I look out at the world and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-43912684052631491562008-11-21T10:46:00.003-05:002011-09-14T09:29:27.854-04:00

Every so often the news gets me all excited. The political theorist in me gambols about like a child with a puppy. My brain livens with excitement and I can barely keep up with my own associations, ideas and knowledge as everything is hurled about behind my eyes. US Global Dominance is Set to Wane And off I go....No shit Sherlock. Political theorists have been predicting this for quite some

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-38817511271800172242008-11-16T00:33:00.003-05:002008-11-16T00:57:51.936-05:00

My rapist has a facebook profile.He has a facebook profile with pictures of his wife and daughter.I found it on Monday when I was browsing through "people you may know". I spent the rest of the week abstaining from facebook and twitter, or even mentioning it on here.Here's the thing: I thought it would make me upset, and it did initially. He has a daughter. My rapist has a daughter. But I am okay

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-70188054334111611882008-11-10T00:20:00.002-05:002011-09-14T09:26:31.889-04:00

Why can’t we all just get out of our own heads for five minutes and see what is really going on? Why does it take years, time in abundance before we are able to see a situation clearly? And even then, do we really see it clearly or do we just impose our own desires for closure on our memories? Love is such a tricky thing. When we are with one someone, we are so sure we have love and we tell

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-51159572593446116202008-11-05T14:06:00.003-05:002011-09-14T09:22:40.068-04:00

Trying to take a picture of my new running top. I am so happy I finally invested in some quality clothing. It takes a lot for me to spend money on stuff...I tend to think, "T-shirts and shoes that are 7 years old work just fine." And that is true to a point, its not like shoes lose the ability to function as shoes over time. But I've been running at least every other day for a while now and even

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-1912241158145957472008-11-04T11:49:00.001-05:002011-09-14T09:20:08.512-04:00

Since when did voting once every four years become enough? How is it that people have come to accept voting as doing their part for democracy?  Does anyone really know what a democracy is anymore? I doubt it because if they did, they wouldn’t say, “I voted, I did my part for democracy.”  The definition of democracy is a highly contested issue in political theory but I think we can all

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-91328155820880003592008-11-03T15:35:00.001-05:002011-09-14T09:05:01.542-04:00

I am living the dream, and life is not perfect but the dream was never perfection anyway. The winter air is cold and grey but I love it. I am most comfortable when curled in a blanket, creating heat with my body and cradling my head in a loved one’s arms. Oh! What a beautiful thing: Body warmth made and shared with someone else! So here is the imperfect part…I love winter but I have no one to

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-56613723384538997472008-11-01T02:07:00.002-04:002011-09-14T09:15:24.045-04:00

I have so much to say, but nothing I type here says anything. Blogger's block. I am in the middle of so many things. Friends are changing and staying the same. I have little time to prepare. What I thought I wanted is not what I really want. The things I do want are far away. So much. I'll figure it out soon, then blog. I am tired. I went to San Antonio, Los Angeles, Seattle and Denver in the

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-83270244188892068842008-10-08T18:56:00.002-04:002011-09-14T09:11:32.956-04:00

Everything is moving so fast and I am so excited! I have three letters of recommendation for graduate school. -Dr. Shinasi Rama : Director of graduate admissions at NYU poly sci, fluent in 11 languages, cynic, former gun-holder for the Russian army, argued with me about the coming anarchy. -Dr. Cheryl Sterling : African history and post-colonial literature scholar, Jamaican woman with a biting

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-56421200659477472522008-09-28T15:29:00.004-04:002011-09-14T09:08:40.467-04:00

A deer lays dead On the side of the road. Struck down in the night With no one to claim it. My mother’s heart is dying From lack of love, Lack of valve function, Lack of health. A friend of 24 can’t breathe. Tumors are growing And the only thing left Is treatment and hope. Suicide calls to my cousin. He can’t be left alone Or he’ll willingly walk Into nothingness. One woman is already

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-87267781539184759412008-09-22T12:58:00.001-04:002011-09-14T09:03:05.825-04:00

My mom has been having chest pain for about one month now. She told me on Sunday morning. She hasn't told anyone else, including her husband, my father. Feeling blank. I told one friend about it, thinking that releasing my worries from the confines of my mind would make me feel better. After talking though I felt rather alone. I want my mom to be the one to tell people, otherwise I feel like I am

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-52702446840238344972008-09-16T00:07:00.000-04:002011-09-14T08:57:20.222-04:00

You make me shift in my seatand spin rings round my fingers.Three inches from my faceyou smile with your head to the side.And I can't breatheI am so full of every emotion.As you stand and leaveI close my eyes and say to myselfI Love You.From over your shouldercomes an answer backI love you too, I love you too Jack.

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-36260450374090521962008-09-11T01:47:00.000-04:002011-09-14T09:00:12.767-04:00

I missed New York, my home below Canal, the city streets at night, so terribly today. I used to walk out of my building after dark and move in any direction. All directions were lit, all directions offered a nocturnal adventure, an escape from the stress that is insomnia. Sometimes I carried my camera and captured light reflecting in leftover puddles of city-steam. Sometimes I carried a book and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-2981311041720650802008-09-07T21:52:00.001-04:002010-07-25T16:45:18.014-04:00

I was bitten by a monkey, hiked up a mountain and down the other side, ate a baguette in Paris, went topless, got lost, lived alone, skipped a class, made my own clothes, started my own business, collected over 300 Beanie Babies, was in love, was depressed, had a 9-5, traveled into the unknown with no plans, breathed with a woman in labor, published a poem, printed photos by hand, prayed with

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-16212901601980069302008-09-04T23:42:00.001-04:002008-09-04T23:42:04.927-04:00

My tears!My tears are spilling out, onto the floorMixing with dish soap and dripping in puddlesAs I bend to wipe the water awayI am blinded by my tearsMy tears!

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-23028091753630808052008-08-14T11:26:00.001-04:002008-08-14T11:28:19.486-04:00

Riding toplessthe jeep careens alonglunging forwardswaying right then left.Hair and bugs flyall over us.--------As we wound up through the Smokey Mountains I felt my chest swell with the anticipation of coming home to an old friend. The closeness to all things living and growing reminded me of snow in Michigan, green groves untouched and deserted beaches in Bali, and mud huts, earth build on top

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-512008819559737752008-07-24T23:03:00.000-04:002008-07-24T23:10:24.842-04:00

Sex and booze babySex and BOO-zah! Paint the tips of your nipsWith pinks and blues! When the beat lays downSo your chest sways round Bathed in red lightThe bartender is throwing hand grenadesAnd shoutingFor the love of womenFor the love of Bon JoviFor the love of all vicesAll around. Big and easy we move alongOver spilled sips of strong drinksOver

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-32786030995349384732008-07-06T23:52:00.000-04:002008-07-06T23:54:08.894-04:00

We were everywhere.We swam and we drummed and we drank wine.We played soccer and volleyballAnd I shut my eyes when they were supposed to be open.We did yoga, naked in the grass.We drove over bridges and ducked under branches.We watched the fireflies sparkle in the eveningAnd we all went to bed around the same time. To Beacon, to Hyde Park, to Woodstock and on.Turn left and stay straight

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-54118710478637714022008-06-30T02:30:00.003-04:002011-03-15T09:34:56.674-04:00

Nana is not coming for the 4th of July. She just had surgery on her eye and doesn't want to travel. I understand, I just miss her and was really excited to sit on the porch with her and talk. I love my Nana so much. We write letters to each other regularly and talk about books we have read and experiences we have had. Once we talked about work in life and what's important. She told me that

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-54578102438239548352008-06-18T23:19:00.000-04:002008-06-18T23:26:21.882-04:00

(This post meanders a bit...skip to the bottom and click the link) So I wonder: Do the good times, the really high highs make the bad times, the low lows, better or worse, more or less bearable? -Highs make lows better, more bearable because you are coming from such a high that it takes more to make a low, it takes a lot to bring you down. Experiencing a good day makes you take the bad ones

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-27091440047838595132008-06-16T23:40:00.000-04:002008-06-16T23:42:59.749-04:00

There is a dichotomy that needs to be addressed. Masculine or feminineLogical or intuitiveMethodical or emotional Address the part or address the whole I want to fuck in the bathroom on the train and I want to spend five hours touching you with no climax at all. I want to be as tight as the drop beat in a hip-hop dig and I want to be as loose as a Sunday afternoon sweatshirt one

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-74016526310262925852008-06-15T23:24:00.000-04:002008-06-15T23:26:32.513-04:00

I couldn’t cry at the wake.I couldn’t cry because my sister, my little sister, was crying and my mother could barely walk she was so overcome with grief. I needed to be there for them and I wanted to. It was more comfortable for me to support them that it was for me to feel anything. I laughed and stood awkwardly inside but when I got to my car I sat in the driver’s seat, turned the key, and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-2745309017860341282008-06-13T00:32:00.000-04:002008-06-13T00:37:52.757-04:00

I have so much to say.I was working on a post with lots of components: -Things that I read today that pissed me off. -How I feel about California. -I can never die. -Where does my common sense connect with yours, or does it?But my friend died. She had cancer for a long time. She was a straight shooter. I hate wakes and funerals but I am going tomorrow. I couldn't breathe when I found

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-86797558751968703812008-05-17T14:46:00.001-04:002008-05-17T14:47:42.302-04:00

Work was a bitch from Monday morning onward but when I walked into the office on Friday and the shit hit the fan, I just laughed. I didn’t take it personally, I didn’t get upset, I just laughed and moved forward. I wonder if this had anything to do with the fact that on Thursday before I left the office, I brought in a little wood-carved Buddha statue from Bali and placed it on my desk. I

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-9711842804004684332008-05-13T00:58:00.000-04:002008-05-13T01:08:08.557-04:00

I am part of the third and final rescue mission.I am one of the family of souls that volunteered to serve, to save.But, like the other thousands of souls on the same mission, I was trapped. Years and years ago, times and times ago, I was trapped. And now all that is left is a memory, a morality developed from my own inward journeys.I serve because that is what I do. And I feel warmth with

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-76336857848164365402008-04-26T17:27:00.000-04:002008-04-26T17:28:17.031-04:00

Global warming, I made a mistake, I tripped and it was global warming just before we peed in one place and ate at another. And we talked a lot and we had a communal heart on the table like communal slavery between the black and the Indians. And history is the dream and psychology is the dream and momentous change for the good is the dream but no one dreamed last night. No one breathed last night

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-16513717511363509302008-04-20T14:23:00.000-04:002008-04-20T14:24:51.899-04:00

The sunshine is eating away at my work ethic. It smelled of sunshine in the city these past few days and I couldn’t deny it. I sat at my desk and rubbed my eyes, ran hands through my hair, used smoking as an excuse to get out and feel the warmth of the sun. By the time 4:00pm clicked on my clock I was done. I was bouncing around and making plans to meet a friend in Prospect Park. I packed

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-65052524424473135422008-04-08T01:58:00.000-04:002008-04-08T02:21:16.375-04:00

I didn’t write for a while because I couldn’t figure out where I was and what I was doing. I think I have some clarity now. Today I was laying on a mat around 9:00pm, resting after a long session of vinyasa yoga. It was dark and quiet in the room and music with minor tones was playing. I had a moment of intense emotion and unraveling, then of composure and clarity. While unraveling I was

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-66662668977921672132008-03-14T00:59:00.000-04:002008-03-14T01:06:51.266-04:00

Brief article in the Onion from a long time ago: African Children Given 30,000 Unused ‘Saved Darfur’ T-Shirts San Fransisco – Citing poor U.S. sales, San Fransisco-based Mee Tees T-shirts announced Tuesday that nearly 30,000 of their cream-colored, green-lettered “Save Darfur” T-shirts will be donated to the children of Darfur. “Frankly we thought this would be a more popular issue

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-26128375282311817412008-03-04T23:10:00.000-05:002008-03-04T23:17:26.839-05:00

High on Mount Sinai?Just thought this was funny because it reminds us all to take things, even the bible at face value. Remember that nothing is black and white, nothing is unadulterated or even what it seems. Trench to encircle Chad’s capitalI saw this story right after reading about how our primary elections are running merrily along. No political violence at the polls, no candidates

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-65568816259219024272008-02-24T23:36:00.000-05:002008-02-25T07:49:04.318-05:00

I wanted to feel tired after my trip, the kind of tired that comes after a big adventure complete with mishaps and fun and new experiences, but all I can think about is my recent inability to think clearly and follow my own thoughts.Since I had my gallbladder removed I have noticed some glitches in my mind and my speech.Example: When I was in Montreal with my employer, Vivian, we were talking

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-74381269918851984442008-02-07T01:38:00.000-05:002008-02-14T13:35:03.748-05:00

Today was beautiful.-This morning I woke up early and read some of a biography about Sylvia Plath and her relationship with Ted Hughes. Later in the day I started reading Travels in American Iraq and got through 120 pages in an hour or so. It's a great first hand account of what was going on in Iraq in 2004. The author, John Martinkus, does a wonderful job of laying out his experiences in such a

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-90054387918341039992008-02-03T00:12:00.001-05:002008-02-03T00:12:54.352-05:00

I feel like I just had another motorcycle accident, not in the literal sense. Before the accident I believed that I wasn't afraid of my own death but that belief was not one I was willing to test for the sake of validation. Then someone careened along and crashed right into me, essentially testing my belief for me. And I was right, I was not afraid.Last night I lost my backpack and as time goes

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-78809908021521729422008-01-26T01:05:00.000-05:002008-01-26T01:08:38.891-05:00

So I have been doing a lot of reading lately and here are some thoughts: Vagabonding by Rolf Potts -Trustafarians – “These folks are among the most visible and least happy wanderers in the travel milieu. Draping themselves in local fashions, they flit from one exotic travel scene to another, compulsively volunteering in local political sauses, experimenting with exotic intoxicants, and dabbling

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-61275038580951909622008-01-18T22:27:00.000-05:002008-01-18T22:56:11.450-05:00

Thoughts of the day.week.month.life: -I wonder if I dive in too deep sometimes, if I let go with complete abandon and lose my head and that losing my head is a negative thing. Do I follow every emotion until its all burned up and then somehow not do well by myself because I lose perspective on the situation? (Whose perspective anyway…the “should” people?) I generally look back and see that

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-28396511688637665362008-01-12T00:42:00.001-05:002008-01-12T13:06:32.311-05:00

I feel breathless, anxious and upset. I just read a portion of the book “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, the part where she talks about Bali, Indonesia. She speaks specifically about Ubud, a town that I lived in for almost 3 months. I miss it, I miss it terribly. My god I miss having such purpose in my life through the volunteering I was doing. It hurts, I have pain resting

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-3169204819343654202008-01-09T00:19:00.000-05:002008-01-09T00:45:16.384-05:00

I just turned 22. For the first time in my life I actually feel anxious about getting older. As I write that I think this anxiety has more to do with the fact that I have been recovering for so freakin long and I am getting tired of it. The accident was 4 months ago and the surgery three weeks ago yet I am still stuck having to rest every other day, eat only bland food and not carry anything

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-76979444888832687272008-01-02T14:44:00.000-05:002008-01-03T01:06:18.868-05:00

On the table in my mind:1. New Years2. ChangesNew Years: I hate the fact that people pick New Years Day as the day to change their life. The whole idea of new years resolutions makes me annoyed...why not change now, why wait another week or month for some random day that someone decided should signify what they decided to call a year. I guess if it works for you then good-o. As for myself, I just

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-61980318235979929082007-12-25T07:47:00.001-05:002007-12-25T07:47:26.870-05:00

I am overwhelmed by what I have to celebrate in my life.Since the moto accident I wake up every so often with painful cramps in my abdomen. This morning said cramps struck around 6am. I got up, drank a glass of milk and decided to check my e-mail before going back to bed. I opened Firefox and found this:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7159794.stmChristmas! These people, not Americans and

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-85892352300888874132007-12-17T00:51:00.001-05:002007-12-17T00:51:06.100-05:00

Life Update:After much sickness I finally got rid of my gallbladder. Early Thursday morning my mother and I braved the snow in upstate NY and made it down to the NYU med center for a late afternoon operation. All went well. They kept me overnight because I took a long time waking up (apparently this is not uncommon for people who have recently had concussions or other damage to the brain). I am

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-24083650092497310752007-12-13T00:18:00.000-05:002007-12-13T00:27:31.508-05:00

Thoughts:I am moving full speed forwardI want to move full speed forwardBut I’m sitting at the stop lightSpinning my wheels.I forgot to shift to first. Things change, everything changes.Lets all let it go.Lets be honest with each other.I’ll be honest with myself. I am scared about tomorrow.I am allergic to painkillers.The accident could cause problems. And what.I

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-37590553271713776802007-12-04T21:55:00.000-05:002007-12-04T21:57:16.134-05:00

I miss my life.Which life is that? independence walking home alone down broadway anonymity darkness caring about my job meeting strangers meandering into artist’s shops bars that never close full of dancing people moving around trains stories interesting stories insomniac accessible grocery stores no car driving environmental consciousness lack of super malls organic food Back to NYC in

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-9230046316917475302007-10-31T23:38:00.000-04:002007-10-31T23:39:59.353-04:00

Best thing someone said to me: You motivated me to be happy.Knowledge is not the same as wisdom.What’s the difference?Knowledge is knowing, wisdom is doing. Meeting with a millionaire in the month of NovemberTo discuss employment opportunities. There are two things to consider.Are you warm or cold for yourself,And do you or don’t you radiate heat to

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-20065655477563839382007-10-26T14:00:00.003-04:002011-03-15T09:08:23.313-04:00

Don’t touch her! I wanted to scream. They kept hugging her And smothering her And crying on her. Her mother died. Stop crying on her. The Priest didn’t pronounce Rhiannon’s name right. He said the words to Turn Turn Turn. We all sang the song in our head. What do you wear to a memorial service? What do you say when people ask how you are? Can I hug you because you are crying And we know the same

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-35944923142372216972007-10-25T20:15:00.001-04:002007-10-29T21:24:42.999-04:00

I went to the movies today.I haven't been to the movies in about five months.I don't usually go to the movies because most mainstream media is superficial, not well put together, like the filler tracks they put on a modern day album in order to save some hits for the next time around.The problem: I can look through a book, read the first chapter then decide not to buy it. I can listen to a few

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-79369774770390256492007-10-25T04:02:00.000-04:002007-10-25T04:06:58.319-04:00

A family friend died on Monday.Her name is Sharon and I babysat her daughter when I was in high school.Now her daughter is 12 years old.Mom asked me to go to Sharon's memorial service with her so she doesn't have to go alone.I have a really hard time with death.I do not like goodbyes.I do not want to cry with Sharon's family and friends.I do not want my last memory of Sharon to be of her, dead,

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-24101571697967842182007-10-17T20:11:00.000-04:002007-10-29T21:29:35.589-04:00

Facing west from California's shores,Inquiring, tireless, seeking what is yet unfound,I, a child, very old, over waves, towards the house of maternity, the land of migrations, look afar,Look off the shores of my Western sea, the circle almost circled;For starting westward from Hindustan, from the vales of Kashmere,From Asia, from the north, from the God

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-59591685483221906092007-10-12T02:58:00.000-04:002007-10-12T03:16:55.159-04:00

Why do we do that?Why do my parents justify staying in their house with the following comments, "It's a nice house on good property," right after saying that they don't like the people in NY, my father hates the commute, it "kills" him, and my mother wants to go to the Midwest?Why is it not okay to talk about the human body or about sex in so many freakin situations?Why is my drinking beer out of

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8261377547300857292.post-47498275710352555732007-10-07T01:58:00.000-04:002007-10-22T12:43:30.442-04:00

My ribs are healing. Cobbie e-mailed. He re-offered me a position in the Philippines. I told him I couldn’t get there right away but I’d be interested in coming for the spring or summer. There’s a political theory program I really want to do at UChicago this summer though. I love Aristotle. We’ll see. It all depends on how everything goes next week with the doctors and how much money

Jackie Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02211205030411329743noreply@blogger.com0